So what's under the Elephants?
Supporting the massive weight of the Four Elephants is the imponderable bulk of the Cosmic Turtle, our mammoth reptilian chauffer through the cosmos.

So what's underneath the Turtle?
Ah, you're a clever and introspective person, but you'll not undermine the truth so easily.  It's turtles all the way down.

I'm tired of this.  What's with the name "Château De Merde"? And why would anyone name a strip of shitty townhouses?
Another perceptive line of questioning.  We named our house because we were sufficiently well-known as a place to hang out that a term of reference was required that offered more in the way of brevity than "Jamie and Nathan and Kat and Keri and Ryan and Sophia and Kevin and Susan and Dan and Dave and Trey's House."  The exact origin of the name is still unknown, as there are competing theories by several people who all claim to be the originators.  when something like this happens, in lieu of possessing a time machine for verification, we usually ascribe whatever is in question to divine inspiration, and claim merely that "it has always been this way."

Do you own the building or something?
No, we do not.  But we always talk about doing so.  In reality, however, it is unlikely that most of the people here would pony up the cash to do so, even if such a situation arose.  Mostly this is because the place is such a dump. 

Your domain name is spelled wrong.
That's not a question, but we are aware of this problem.  We are also aware that the people (if you can call a faceless, bastard corporation people) who own the names chateau.net and chateau.org are actually a faceless, bastard corporation that trolls the internet picking up domain names and parking shitty fake search pages on them.  It is my opinion that these people are godless shitheads.  It is a fact that they wanted thousands of dollars for chateau.org, which they technically should not even own, as they are a fucking corporation, and that's just cheating.  Incidentally, the people who own chateau.com are a very nice company that sells wine, and "rock on" to them.  The godless bastards at UlitmateSearch can most certainly not "rock on."

We tried chateaudemerde.com, but the majority of people can't spell this correctly.  In the end we went with shateau, because of the pun involved with the word "shat."  Heh heh.  Shat.  Shut up, it's funny.

Then why didn't you just rename it "Shateau de Merde"?
Well, by then we'd already been spelling it the correct way for years, and anyway I'd already drawn all these little pictures. I'm sure you understand.

Speaking of things you got wrong, in French the phrase would be "Château de la Merde"
We are likewise aware of our error in French.  We are unaware, however, of us giving a shit about it. 

This is stupid.  You're all morons.
That's also not a question.

What's a Gluon?
According to Wikipedia, the only free online encylopedia:

"In physics, gluons are the elementary particles which are responsible for the strong nuclear force. They bind quarks together to form protons and neutrons as well as other hadrons; their electric charge is zero, their spin is 1 and they are generally assumed to have zero mass. Gluons are ultimately responsible for the stability of atomic nuclei.

In quantum chromodynamics (QCD), today's accepted theory for the description of the strong nuclear force, gluons are exchanged when particles with a color charge interact. When two quarks exchange a gluon, their color charges change; the gluon carries an anti-color charge to compensate for the quark's old color charge, as well as the quark's new color charge. Since gluons thus carry a color-charge themselves, they can also interact with other gluons, which makes the mathematical analysis of the strong nuclear force quite complicated and difficult. Even though there are theoretically nine unique colour combinations for gluons (r-ar, r-ag, r-ab, g-ar, g-ag, g-ab, b-ar, b-ag, and b-ab), due to the subtleties of SU(3) symmetry there are only eight different gluons.

The first experimental traces of gluons were found in the early 1980s at the electron-positron-collider PETRA at the DESY in Hamburg, when evidence for a clear three-jet structure was found; the third jet was attributed to one of the produced quarks emitting a gluon."

Why does it burn when I pee?
There are, of course, several possibilities:

It very well could be caused by an STD such as chlamydia or gonorrhea, which are both bacteriological infections that cause inflammation of the urinary tract (and other nasty things).  Chances are, if you have on of these, you've also had pus come out of your urethra, particularly if you're a man. If it's one of these, you're in luck:  they're both rapidly curable, and as long as you're a little more selective about who you let squirt their fluids into you, and a little safer next time you do it, you will probably never suffer these symptoms again!

It could also be an infection of herpes or HPV (genital warts).  Herpes will most likely cause other nasty symptoms as well, so be on the lookout for these.  Herpes, unlike love, is forever - so good luck with that!  Get used to taking lots of pills that only cut down the number of times a year that nasty sores appear on our penis or around your vagina.  Although, happily, herpes has been around so damn long that lots of people have it without having any symptoms at all.  Yay!  HPV generally doesn't cause urinary pain, but can.  more commonly, it causes nasty warts that have to frozen off.  Since both Herpes and HPV are viruses, they never really go away - so you can thank your recent sexual partner(s) for a gift that truly keeps on giving. 

Special note to women: HPV can often cause warts you can't see (like all up in your junk, i.e., on the cervix), so you can pass this baby along without even knowing it.  Also, if left untreated, these unfortunately placed warts can cause cervical cancer.  You do not want this.

But I'm a virgin / don't have sex / only have sex with virgins / lost my libido long ago / etc. What else could it be?
There are a still a couple of other things.

If you're sure it's not an STD (and the best way to be sure, kids, is to be tested. DO NOT rely on the Magic Eight-Ball™ for this one.  Trust me) , it could also be a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection), which is a bacteriological infection, much like chlamydia.  However, the bacterium that usually causes a UTI is E.Coli, which will not transmit to another person.  Yay!  Also, E.Coli generally comes from, of all places, your ass.  So girls, remember to wipe front to back!  UTIs will need treatment with antibiotics most of the time.

Burning during urination can also be caused by:

1. Dehydration - keep drinking water, especially if you've been drinking anti-water (booze).
2. Capsicum - As in the stuff in spicy food.  And that's no shit, especially when combined with dehydration.
3. Jesus Hates You - And for this, sadly, there is no cure.

What is the Square Root of Infinity?
The square root of infinity is still infinity.

Please send further inquiry to info@shateau.com

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